CYBER INDUCTANCE

SHARPNEL SOUNDS

last note here is a ghost note. you can remove the last note and add a jump or a single note here instead 199790. also consider moving 199711|3 depending on what you place after it

this is minor but would you consider making these single notes? it'd be more coherent with these 153926|2,154083|1

starting here on this buildup section, i think your idea with the jacks is great but the execution isn't quite there. the way you're swapping columns and sometimes adding jumps (jump example: 139633|1,139633|4 ) feels fairly arbitrary. you could make this section really good with more refined and consistent rules for how you control jack lengths or when to swap columns. i know this is fairly vague but it's hard to give an example of an adjustment while writing here. if you want me to elaborate, i can help you with this on discord

i appreciate what you're doing with the LN breaks it feels like they're supposed to follow the same sounds as these 209999|1,215025|4,220052|1,225078|1 while the same sound doesn't appear. i'd suggest continuing the jumpstream for these sections 212512|2,217539|4,222565|2 instead of the LN breaks, and keeping the breaks at 209999|1,215025|4,220052|1,225078|1

this is an issue that counts for the majority of the map containing light jumpstream

the way you're patterning the light js is very generic and monotonous while there are nuances in the song you could focus on with pattern changes and moving jumps to different snaps. for example, you could turn 12251|2 into a jump, turn 12408|4,12408|3 into a single note, turn 12565|1 into a jump, turn 12722|3,12722|4 into a single note, and turn 12879|2 into a jump. for this focus it's fine to stop doing jumps on kicks momentarily so you don't end up overlayering

this issue is the primary reason why there's a problem with "song representation" in the map. it feels like there are notes going at the right bpm, but they only capture the song vaguely. the light jumpstream also feels very out of place in one of the most intensive parts of the map (chorus starting here 155025), and especially because the rest of the chorus (after 175130) turns into handstream

an example of where you're doing great is in this section 225392 where you're clearly changing the focus to noticeable parts of the rhythm. more of the map needs this

these jumps don't go to anything and blur the lines between other rhythms. making them single notes would make more sense

note: the timestamp selects two different locations, 0:26 and 0:31

starting here there's also the same issue https://quavergame.com/mapset/map/44314/mods#mod_4518 points out

aaaaall of these split trills feel way overemphasised and are basically dumping the rhythm while it doesn't seem like you're going for a dump map in general. i'd strongly suggest following the actual melody since it would not only feel more in line with the song, but it would also make the section easier. as it is, this part is much harder than the rest of the js sections that are very light so it feels spiky and out of place

note that i didn't select all the split trills at the start, but the point still stands up until around 0:41